Hunky Dory

The last track on the UB40 album halted, highlighting the squeaks from the ‘Sky-glider’ machine and the panting and groaning from the two women. They continued to exercise for a few more moments then came to a halt, breathless and laughing as they looked across Paula’s sitting-room at each other. “What are we like?” Kate giggled. “Desperate housewives or what?” “God, I’m nearly killed!” Paula said, extricating herself from the ‘Ab-Strengthener’. “I won’t be able to move in the morning.” Kate started bending each leg up towards her chest, in a vague cooling-down ritual. “You should fit into that interview suit easily now, no problem.” She gave a few deep breaths. “Has Frank noticed any difference yet?” “You must be joking,” Paula said, rolling her eyes. “He wouldn’t notice if I walked up the main street naked with a flower up my nose or anywhere else.” She fleetingly thought of copying Kate’s cooling-down movements, but moved across the room and flopped into an armchair instead. Kate was twisting sidewards now. “He must have noticed. You’ve lost nearly a stone. Surely he must feel the difference when you’re in bed?” “He doesn’t take the time to notice anything about me when he’s in the mood,” Paula commented wryly, “which is rarely these days. It’s as quick as he can get it over and done with.” Kate lifted her training mat from the floor and rolled it up. “Joe was like that before he left, then suddenly it stopped altogether. I knew there was something going on then. I knew he must be getting it somewhere else.” “Do you miss him?” Paula asked. “Not a bit,” Kate replied airily. “Good riddance to bad rubbish. I wish he’d gone long ago. I can do what I like without having him criticising me, and I don’t have him mucking up the place anymore.” She waved her hand around the tidy room. “He had it like a kip with his CDs and books all over the place. Everything is more organised with him gone.” She smiled now. “I’ve more important things on my mind than missing Joe. If I could just pass my driving test, everything would be hunky-dory.” “And if I could get this new job,” Paula said, “everything in my life would be hunky-dory too. And if things work out with you childminding Ella, we’d both be hunky-dory.” She checked her watch now. “Jesus, I’d better run or I’ll be late for picking her up.” “Don’t forget about your hair,” Kate reminded her as she went flying towards the door. “You need to do something with it for the interview.” She loosened her own long blonde hair out of her ponytail now. “Cut and coloured?” Paula said, pausing on the doorstep. “A shorter cut will make you look more professional.” Paula rolled her eyes. “The last time I had it cut Frank said it made me look like a fella.” “Never mind Frank,” Kate laughed. “It’s the job you’re after, not his approval. It’ll soon grow back.”

* * *

Kate made a cup of coffee and then she came back into the sitting-room and put on a CD of classical music, then she picked up her notebook. She drew two columns on her page. One for pluses and one for minuses. The first plus was the hundred Euros a week - cash in hand - that Paula would pay her having Ella for breakfast and then taking her to school and collecting her, then looking after her until Paula finished work. Mind you, she would certainly earn it looking after that spoiled young brat. But a few days of a new, firmer regime would soon put manners on her. Kate bit her lip. Did she really want the disruption to her nice daily routine? Did she need the money enough? A picture of the new car she wanted flashed into her mind – in a bright yellow or red that would catch Joe’s eye when she glided past him in town. An excited tingle ran through her. She just couldn’t wait to see his face. Ella’s money would pay for the car and membership to a gym – definitely a huge plus. Another negative was that she would have to be up and out earlier. But, she reminded herself, she would have the mile walk to school and back which would keep her fit and speed up the weight loss. She smiled. Paula wouldn’t have time for walking and exercising if she was sitting in an office all day. All the sitting around would probably make her backside even bigger. It was amazing that however much weight Paula lost, she never seemed to lose it from there. Kate had read articles about weight lodging in particular areas – usually hips and bum - and how you should target them with specific exercises. But there was no point in telling Paula about them. She always knew better. And if she did take the advice on board and slimmed down her bum, she would probably be insufferable. Paula was okay as far as friends went, but she could be a pain in the arse with her one-upmanship. Kate could use her new routine to get a few steps ahead herself. With a trimmer figure from the school walk and a spanking new car, there would be no holding her.

* * *

Paula scrutinised herself in the wardrobe mirror. The suit fitted great and her hair looked tidier – although shorter than she liked. The hairdresser had put a brown base colour then added a few coppery lowlights. He blew it dry then fluffed out all the feathery strands around her face and neck. When Paula looked in the mirror she felt a poor-man’s version of Sharon Osborne (before the face lift and the new bob) was staring back at her. But – it was worth it if she got the job. She came downstairs and headed for the desk drawer that contained a packet of cigarettes. “No!” she said aloud to herself. “I’m not starting back again … I can’t afford it.” She walked over to the window and stood, arms folded, looking out. What if she didn’t get the job? All that money wasted and nothing to show for it. Frank will go mad, she thought. Let him! a little voice replied. He goes mad about everything anyway. It was my money. I worked hard for it, so he can just bugger off. The thing was, she didn’t even want to go back to work. She was quite happy being at home until she discovered how desperate their finances were. Until Frank showed her the bank statement and then the credit card statement. The next morning she booked her computer course. It was lucky she hadn’t touched her children’s allowance or she wouldn’t have been able to pay for the course. Last night she’d tried to cheer Frank up. “If I get the job,” she’d explained, “A few weeks’ wages will cover the computer course.” All he could say was, “Don’t kid yourself, Paula. Nobody wants to employ a thirty-odd year old woman who hasn’t worked for a few years. They’ll be looking for somebody nearer twenty who’s fresh out of college. That’s what I’d look for if I was looking for a secretary.” Paula hadn’t trusted herself to speak. Then for a finish he had said: “What about Ella? Who’s going to look after her, while you’re swanning off to work? What about the summer holidays? I won’t allow her to become one of those latch-key kids that get up to all sorts of nonsense.” Paula put her head in her hands now, thinking about the £3,000 credit card bill and the sky-high overdraft. I have to get this job or we’re sunk, she thought. And Ella will be fine with Kate. Thank God for Kate – she’s the best friend anyone could have.

* * *

Kate put the patchwork quilt she was sewing on the sofa and rushed to answer the door. “I got it! I actually got the job!” Paula whooped, brandishing a Marks and Spencer’s carrier bag. “And to hell with the calories! We’re celebrating with Cava and carrot cake and handmade chocolates.” A short while later they sat opposite each other clinking glasses and working out time schedules for the next few weeks. “What did Frank say?” Kate asked. “Was he delighted for you?” Paula topped up their glasses. “I’d never do anything if I waited on Frank to be delighted” Kate held up her glass. “The best of luck with the new job.” “If you weren’t looking after Ella, I wouldn’t be doing this.” Kate picked another chocolate. “You know, there are people who live like this all the time – drinking champagne and eating chocolates.” “You mean fat, greedy women?” Paula giggled, the sparkling wine having gone to her head a bit. “No,” Kate laughed, “I mean wealthy women. Women who are waited on hand and foot. Women who have fancy houses and cars and expensive clothes and perfume. That kind of thing.” “You mean women who do their food shopping in Marks and Spencers all the time?” Kate shrugged. “Marks and Sparks at the very least – probably Harrod’s food hall or having everything delivered from an up-market deli store.” Paula took a big slug of the Cava. “I’d love to be like that … If I was twenty again, I’d marry a man who could give me all those things. I wouldn’t care what he looked like, as long as he had money.” “What if he was awful looking and really boring?” Kate said, giggling. “A lot of wealthy men are ugly,” Paula pointed out. “Look at that old Onassis fella – you don’t think that Jackie Kennedy married him for his good looks, do you?”

* * *

Kate glanced up from her knitting, checking that Ella was busy at her homework. It was great that she could still do things she enjoyed like the knitting and reading, and mind Ella at the same time. It was great how things had worked out over all. In the last few weeks, Kate had passed her driving test and bought her new yellow Ka. And, she had become fond of Ella. They chatted on the walks to and from school and Ella now came running out from school each day, eager to tell Kate all her news. Although she had the car, they still walked to help get down that last bit to her goal weight. It was after seven o’clock when Paula came rushing through the door. “The computers went down for two hours and I had a big order that had to be processed for tomorrow morning.” “You can relax,” Kate told her. “Frank picked Ella up this evening. He was here at six o’clock.” “Well, that does make a change …” “You look as though you could do with a cup of coffee. Have you had a hard day?” Paula sank into an armchair. “Hectic. Thank God tomorrow’s Friday. Was Frank annoyed that I was late?”” Kate shrugged. “He didn’t seem to be, he was in good form this evening. He had a doughnut and coffee while Ella was watching a programme.” She lifted up a small blue square of knitting on two needles. “What do you think of Ella’s handiwork?” “Did she do all that herself?” Paula asked, surprised. “We’ve been working on it all week. They’re doing a crafts exhibition in school next Wednesday and she wants to take it in.” Kate smiled. “It’ll actually be a scarf when it’s finished.” “Oh, Kate …” Paula suddenly remembered. “Ella has a party at Lisa’s tomorrow at six o’clock. Could you drop her off?” “No problem. Will you leave the party clothes and the present off in the morning?” Paula rolled her eyes. “I’ve only just thought of it. It’ll have to be money in a card.” “I’m going into town tomorrow,” Kate told her, “so I’ll pick up a little present then.” “Are you sure? It’s putting more things on your plate.” “I’m going to the leisure centre anyway, did I tell you I’d joined?” “The one in the new hotel?” Paula asked in a high, surprised voice. “Yes.” “Isn’t it very expensive?” “They do special off-peak rates. I go after I’ve dropped Ella off in the mornings. You should join, too.” “I wish I could,” Paula sighed. “I’m always rushing around and Frank’s no help. He still expects me to cook and do everything around the house. He wouldn’t think to make me a cup of tea if he gets in before me. If you weren’t giving Ella her dinner in the evenings, I’m sure she would starve if it was left up to him.” “Maybe you’re being a bit hard on him,” Kate said quietly. “He adores Ella. The evenings he calls here, he checks her homework and her reading, and watches her knitting.” “He could show some interest in me.” “Maybe he thinks that you have no time for him …” “Well, I’ve actually got very little feelings for him at the moment.” “Maybe you should think of giving up work for a while.” “You must be joking,” Paula said. “At least I get a ‘thanks’ for the work I do in the office, and I get paid.” “Money isn’t everything,” Kate said quietly. Paula checked her watch. “I want to get home and spend an hour with Ella before bedtime.” She stood up. “I’ll settle up with you tomorrow for the birthday present. She reached and squeezed her friend’s hand. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Later, as she was tidying around, Kate picked up Ella’s little scarf and held it to her cheek. It was amazing how relaxed she’d become with Frank recently. He’d complimented her on how well she looked, and when she’d mentioned having her long. blonde hair cut, he said how lovely and feminine it looked and advised her to keep it exactly as it was. Kate ran her fingers through her hair, thinking that she might just have a bare inch off it and maybe a few highlights to brighten it up. As she washed up, she mused over how things had turned around for her friend recently. Having a job didn’t seem to have made things better. Paula had never been properly organised when she was at home, and now she seemed to be using the job as an excuse for doing even less.

* * *

Paula sat back in her office chair, thinking that going back to work was the same as when she gave up smoking. It made no obvious difference to their finances although she knew their debt was gradually decreasing. Personally, she felt hardly a penny the better off for all her hard work. The overdraft was swallowing up her wages every month and what was left went on paying Kate and her fares and her lunches. The only positive thing was that Frank’s mood had improved and he wasn’t so critical. Maybe he was relieved about their money situation improving He wasn’t the type to say it. Paula gave a little sigh. How on earth had they ever got together in the first place? She supposed it had all been physical attraction. Before they had time to get to know each other properly, she was expecting Ella. But surely there had been more to them that that? Maybe when the debt was all paid off they might take a holiday. Time on their own. Maybe things would get back to being hunky-dory between them again.

* * *

Kate did sit-ups in time to her Madonna CD. She was delighted with her trendy new hairstyle and when Frank saw it, he said that from the back she looked like a teenager. “Young, fit and slim,” he’d said. “Your Joe must have been mad going off.” Then, when she was out with the girls at the weekend, she’d run into her ex-husband and his girlfriend, Sarah, in the local hotel. Kate was wearing a short skirt with long suede boots and fishnet tights. Joe’s face was a picture. And better still, his girlfriend who was five months pregnant looked pale and dumpy and miserable. God knows what she would look like full-term. Joe had been waiting when she came out of the Ladies. “What’s all this?” he’d said, gesturing towards her outfit. “I never knew you had legs when we were married – you always wore trousers.” She had arched her eyebrows. “Well, now you know what you missed.” Kate took the lasagne out of the oven. She’d made enough for Frank if he came early to join her and Ella again tonight. He was always grateful and he’d even brought her a beautiful hand-tied bouquet of flowers, to say thanks for all the lovely meals she’d cooked when Paula was on a staff-training course. Joe had never bought her flowers. Not even when she’d lost the twins a few years ago and the other little baby the following year. She’d never got as much as a daisy from him, and hardly a mention of the babies when she’d come home from hospital. Was it any wonder she hadn’t wanted to sleep with him since? She often wondered if things would have been different had the babies lived. Kate grabbed her coat and headed out the door to pick Ella up. She called in at a sports shop on the way to school and bought a new, slightly daring swimsuit. Paula was going away for the weekend with work and she’d promised Ella that she’d bring her swimming on Saturday, and Frank said he would love to join them too. They were getting to be quite a little family, she thought to herself. And she didn’t feel a bit guilty. All was fair in love and war. And in the long run, things would work out hunky-dory for Paula too.

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